I have always said that I am too lazy for conflict, but I think maybe that was just an excuse. The truth is that I'm scared. Not of the confrontation, but of losing people. I am afraid that if I tell someone that they are hurting me, they will get defensive and walk away.
I know that these fears take root in my insecurity and that's something that I need to work on, but after years of 'taking it on the chin', it's been hard to sustain any self-worth.
I know too that, for my own sake, I need to start being upfront and accept that anyone I lose along the way isn't worth my time... but to be honest, I just wish people wouldn't make me take these fucking risks to begin with.