So often when I'm having fun, I think: 'Man when this is over, I'm going to wish I could be back in this moment.' Or when life is going well and I feel truly happy, I think: 'Well, this can't last forever, and when it's over, fuck it's going to hurt.'
I am forever feeling like the days are passing too quickly or maybe I'm just not living in the moment. Work is a waste of my time, weekends are fun but getting me nowhere. My friends are beautiful, but how long until we fallout? Break-up?
I don't know. I don't know if I am wasting my time. I don't know who I will lose. I don't know who I am or what I want. I don't know the answers, I don't even think they exist.
I would love to end these thoughts with something positive, but I just don't think there is a solution. I don't have control over anything or anyone but myself. I have to let go of yesterday's problems and tomorrow's uncertainty, because last week is over and next month I might lose everything.
All I have is now, this minute, this second. And I choose this minute to reflect on good things that are over, but are worth the holes they have left in my heart.
